I want to be happy-- don't you?

I want to be happy--don't you?  I think it would be a truthful statement to say everyone just wants to be happy--and all the time.  For many years I've heard Christians make a distinction between happiness and joy and that made sense to me.  After all, God calls us to rejoice always, to have joy always, and we all know that no one can be happy all the time.  How can I be happy when my loved one dies, or my child is fighting cancer, or I lose my job?  Right?  Therefore, we conclude, there must be a difference between joy and happiness.

Recently, I heard Randy Alcorn make a strong case for how Biblically, and throughout history, joy and happiness have been used as synonyms.  He shared that Oswald Chambers was the first to espouse the idea that "joy" and "happiness" are different; that is,  joy is that deep, abiding contentment that remains even in the most dire circumstances of life, while "happiness" is that more temporal, emotive feeling that makes us feel so wonderful.  Alcorn says that prior to Chambers, everyone used the words interchangeably-- to be happy was to be joyful and to be joyful was to be happy.

I've been thinking a great deal about happiness as of late and I think this confusion might lie in how we view this idea of happiness.  Let's be honest.  Happiness is not something I achieve and then I'm done--never to be unhappy again.  "Ok, now I'm happy--I don't have to think about that anymore!"  That's really not how it works.  Happiness and joy, as an emotional state, is constantly being challenged--at least it is in my life.   On our trip home from Alabama for Thanksgiving, we were caught in an accident and stuck on the interstate for over an hour, and then to top it off, immediately upon getting off the interstate I got a ticket for driving through a stop sign I didn't see.  I admit it--I was not happy and my wife even reproved me for my unhappiness over such temporal, unimportant things.  I think that it might be helpful for us to see happiness as a state of heart that needs to be continually replenished.  There are many difficulties in life that want to rob us of our happiness.  Some of those difficulties come at the end of bad choices we've made.  Others are absolutely independent of anything we've done, yet both have the same result of potentially draining away our happiness.

David Murray identifies six streams of happiness that are available to all people everywhere.  He says all of us experience nature happiness, social happiness, vocational happiness, physical happiness, intellectual happiness, and humor happiness.  I think it's easy to understand what Murray is saying--good jokes, good friends, and a good back massage all make us feel happy--they add to our "happiness tank."  People recognize this and are always trying to find happiness in these six areas and more, which is why we visit the Grand Canyon and go to hear comedians.  All too many of us are too often thinking, "If I could just find the right relationship, or have this one thing, or have 'that' job or 'this' amount of money, I'd be happy."  We strive for those things because deep down we believe those things will give us lasting, enduring, happiness.   Sometimes we actually achieve the things we pursue; but invariably and unfortunately, the happiness they bring is often fleeting and we set out to refill our happiness tank, this time with something else that will prove itself equally transient.

But Murray identifies one more stream of happiness which he calls "spiritual happiness," and this happiness comes only from having a relationship with God through Jesus.  This source of happiness is always available, and it's what I believe Chambers was seeking to identify when he said that joy and happiness were different.  Here's what spiritual happiness is:  it is the joy and happiness that comes from knowing that God loves me, that my life matters and has purpose, and that God Himself is watching over my life.  What I mean by that last statement is that God in His love for me is overseeing my life so that I can trust Him that everything is going to be okay in the end.  Romans 8:28 promises that "all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose."  But here's the challenge-- I have to choose that spiritual happiness and joy.  I have to decide that I'm going to walk in it, no matter what.  Just having experienced an added hour of interstate driving to an already super long drive, followed up with an immediate moving violation ticket for running a stop sign, I tell you that is no easy task!  So how do I always walk in happiness and joy? Here are two suggestions that I'm trying to practice myself.

Use your feelings of unhappiness as a warning.  If you are a Christ follower and you are unhappy, somewhere along the line you've lost sight of Jesus and that spiritual flow of happiness, and you are focused on the bad.  Remember, God says he loves you and nothing happens to you that He's unaware of or isn't supervising.  If He's allowed it, He will use it for good.  I'm not saying the thing is good--I'm saying God will use it for good.  Trust Him.

Stop, pray and choose happiness!  You can do it.  You can choose joy even in the hardest and most difficult times of your life.  You may have to choose it over and over but you can.  Pray it out loud.  Remind yourself that God loves you and you can trust Him.  "Rejoice, and again I say rejoice!"

It didn't take me but a few seconds to realize my wife was right.  I had allowed some petty things to rob me of my joy and happiness.   I'm pretty sure it won't be the last but I want to be a happy and joyful person-- all the time.  Join me in that pursuit.

Say "Thanks!"

Today is Thanksgiving so what does that mean?  Unfortunately for many of us it's a day to over eat, or simply "couch potato" our day away in front of the TV, or shop until we drop.  One really good thing about Thanksgiving is that many us try hard to spend it with family.  But let me encourage us all to remember the very name of the day--Thanksgiving.  Today is a day to say thank you, to express gratefulness.  All too often we celebrate Thanksgiving in so many ways, but never actually say thank you to anyone.  Let me challenge you to make a point to say thank you to the following persons today.

Begin by expressing gratefulness to God--both personally and as a family.  There are countless reasons for which we should be thankful to God so think deeply and thoughtfully.  Make thankfulness a focus of your personal time with God and then, before you eat the main meal together, spend time as a family praying and expressing thanks to God.  A helpful suggestion might be to go around the room and ask everyone to share one thing from this past year for which they'd like to thank God.

Take today as an opportunity to say thank you to your parents.  Some of you reading this will have already lost your parents to death and you can still remember them with gratefulness.  But if your parents are alive, thank them.  Be specific.  As a parent myself I tend to remember and focus on my failures.   Our gratefulness can bless our parents and encourage them that they did some things right.

Who has invested time and energy in your life?  Who went out of their way to pour into you and help you become who you are today?  Have you ever thanked them?  Take this day to make a phone call or write a note that says "thank you for helping me become who I became!"  When I was in college I met a pastor by the name of Sam Tatem.  I can't even remember how we met, but Sam would often write me  notes of encouragement and those notes meant more to me than I can even explain to you.  Sam is gone now, and I can't tell him personally, but there are others who helped me become who I am.  Mark Griffith, Chip Phillips and Don Frensley are some of the men who poured into me.

Has anyone loved you when you were unlovely?  Anyone stuck by you when you were being stupid and really deserved to be abandoned?  Today is Thanksgiving-- say thank you to that person.  Call them and tell them how much it means to you that they didn't give up on you.

Are you a Christ-follower?  Who led you to Jesus?  Today would be a good day to thank them.  Did someone disciple you?  Help you to grow as a Christian?  Why not write them a note or give them a call and say thank you?

Today is a day to give thanks-- let's actually do it.  There is nothing wrong with football, feast and family but let's go further and make this a day of true "Thanks-Giving!"

    

Don't give up!

It was a Monday morning when my friend Scott called me and asked me to go with him to take some groceries to a needy family in the county—actually they were my neighbors.  I willingly went; I thought we’d be in and out in just a few minutes but he had other ideas.  Only the wife was home and Scott was determined to reach out beyond just the gift of food.  I remember him continually telling the lady how we cared and wanted to help and asked her over and over again if there was anything we could do to assist them.  By this point I was sitting in a chair and to my chagrin, I was irritated with Scott for prolonging the visit.  We had reached out several times to this family but they had never responded with any openness.  In my mind, we had done our good deed and we were now wasting our time and I was ready to go.  But then, all of a sudden, something happened.  The woman began to cry.  I can clearly hear her words even now, “Thank you for caring for us!  Thank you for caring!”

In that moment, filled with shame at my own selfishness and lack of compassion, God began to speak to me.  He told me I give up on people way too soon and he brought to mind another couple I’d been reaching out to but had given up on.  There in that seat I repented, I changed my mind and heart, and decided I would not give up on people and made a commitment to visit that same couple that very night.

It was a cold, winter evening when we showed up at their door.  They weren’t expecting us but graciously let us in.  I remember they didn’t have any central heat and they only had one kerosene heater in the living room.  They had even blocked off other rooms with sheets where there weren’t doors.  That night I told them about Jesus and His love for them.  I spoke of God’s concern and His desire to forgive them and make them His own children.   It was amazing to me what happened next--with deep emotion they both received Jesus as their Savior.   We gathered around their coffee table on our knees and they expressed their faith through prayer and I followed that by praying for them.  For one who follows Christ, it was a sacred moment but it didn’t end with my prayer as the husband asked me, “Can I pray again?”  I told him he most assuredly could and then bowing his head again, he prayed.  His prayer was short and I assure you these were his exact words-- I’ll never forget them; “Dear Lord, thank you for not letting them give up on me! Amen.” 

 In one day God had spoken to me as clearly as I’d ever heard him—twice no less.  “Jimmy, don’t ever give up on people.”  I wish I could say that from that day I’ve always been faithful to that directive.  True confessions—some people make it hard not to give up.  They test the metal of my resolve but then God reminds me of that day and I press on.

Maybe you are tempted to give up on a friend, a neighbor, a child or even a spouse.  The decisions they are making, the choices they are choosing and the constant refusal to make positive and lasting change causes you to want to throw up your hands and walk away.  Don’t!  Please don't!  I don't mean that you should enable bad behavior or facilitate errant choices but what I do mean is continue to love them, to invest grace in them, to challenge them and even to pray for them.  Don't give up on them in your heart.  Not too long ago I was feeling a bit discouraged that someone I was investing in wasn’t making much change.  I was telling a friend about that and what he said reminded me of the lesson God taught  me so many years ago; “Jimmy, I’ve discovered that things can change in a person’s life in an instance.  Always remember, the end has not been written.”  What a great reminder. 

So I leave you with this encouragement—don’t give up!  Never, ever give up hope that people can change because the end has not been written!

Twenty-eight years and very grateful!

In three days, on November 5^th, twenty-eight years ago, Anne and I were voted in as the pastor and wife of the Bacon’s Castle Church family.  I was young—twenty- seven years old—very idealistic and hopeful.  I’d like to believe I still am but I know all these years have tempered me with a dose of realism.  It’s hard for me to believe that I’ve lived longer in Surry than all other places combined.

                                                                                                                           

Shepherding and leading at Bacon’s Castle has been one of the greatest joys of my life, though it’s not always been easy.   I have often felt overwhelming gratefulness fill my heart for the privilege that’s been mine.  As I was reflecting over these many years, I wanted to tell you some things for which I’m very grateful.

I guess personally, I’m most grateful to God and to you for the friendships and relationships that He has given me over my years of serving.  For almost three decades I’ve walked alongside some men and women who have become as close to me as brothers, sisters, and friends can become.   Thomas Aquinas said, “There is nothing on earth to be more prized than true friendship.” There is little for which I am more grateful than you my friends, my family.

As I reflected on being your pastor all these years, gratefulness for how you’ve loved and treated my family overwhelms me.  You’ve loved my Anne and my kids—my family.  You’ve treated them as your own.  Many of you have invested time and training in their lives.  You’ve prayed for them, supported them in their endeavors-- from high school sports, to college, to careers.   I think some of you have loved them as much as Anne and I have!

I’m grateful for how you’ve followed my leadership.  I wish I were a stronger and better leader—I think our church might reflect that today if I were.  But what leadership gifts I do have, you have supported and nurtured.   In the early years, when I was young and you didn’t know me, we had some struggles.  And, not that along the way we’ve never had any others; but mostly over the years you’ve trusted my heart, and that will always mean more to me than I can ever express.  

This is humbling to admit, but I’m thankful for all the times you’ve forgiven me when I’ve dropped the ball or let you down.  In these last twenty-eight years I’ve had plenty of chances to mess up, even hurt you, and far too many times I’ve done just that but yet, so many of you have stood by me, forgiven me, and even encouraged me nonetheless.  Anne alluded to it the other Sunday when she shared, but the hardest part for me as a pastor has been to watch people leave our family for this reason or that.  I’m sure that some have legitimate grievances with me—my sin may have hurt them—but so many of you have not let that deter us or destroy our love or our church family.   You’ve pardoned me and loved me and I’m grateful for that forgiveness.

I could definitely go on with this, for there is so much more that makes me grateful as I think of Bacon’s Castle.  Your love for our guests when they come, your love for children and your desire to be a church committed to God’s Word and His Will are just a few of the things that make me thankful.   But when I think back over the last twenty-eight years I’m so very grateful to God for the opportunity He’s given me to have a part in what He’s been doing in your lives.  God has given me the privilege of leading some of you to know and trust Christ, and those opportunities came to me because I am a pastor—not all of them but many of them.  He’s given me the chance to pour my life into many of yours, to help you learn and grow in your walk with Jesus.   As a pastor, He’s allowed me to be there and cry with you when it hurts and laugh with you when the joy is overwhelming.  It’s a privilege for which I’ll always be thankful to Him.

People often ask me if I’ll stay here with the Bacon’s Castle family until I die.  That I don’t know.  Who knows, there may come a time when you and I think it is best that I step aside from being a pastor.  But this I do know, no matter what the future holds, I’ll always be grateful for this privilege that’s been mine.