Three Really Good Things That Can Keep You From Heaven

It’s hard to believe that good things can keep people from knowing God and out of heaven, but it's true.  Some who claim to follow Jesus say we shouldn’t even worry about heaven.  I’ve recently heard the assertion that many of us who follow Christ only emphasize “heaven” and ignore the every day life of following Jesus.  Well I hope that’s not true, but to minimize the importance of eternal life is to reject much of what our Savior said.  Jesus often said things like this; “For this is the will of My Father, that everyone who beholds the Son and believes in Him will have eternal life, and I Myself will raise him up on the last day.”   It’s amazing how often Jesus spoke of keeping our eyes, our focus, on eternity.  Paul, one of the greatest Christian leaders of the early church, said that “if we have hoped in Christ in this life only, we are of all men most to be pitied.”

So heaven is important and you should want to be there as you close your eyes in death, but there are three really good things that can keep you out if you are not careful.

Growing up in Jesus' church is a good thing that can keep people out of heaven.  Honestly, growing up with godly, Christ-following parents is a blessing one can’t minimize.  Having the nurture of a Biblical, loving local church is priceless.  But just like with so many good things, there can be a down side too.   Have you ever heard the old adage, “You can’t see the forest for the trees?”  Is it possible that we can be so close but miss the big picture?  Too often our children grow up in church hearing all about Jesus yet somehow the gospel never takes root in their hearts.  It’s almost like we inoculate them to their personal need of a Savior and to the wonder of God’s grace.  Over and over again I hear adults who grew up in church confuse the gospel with moralism, where moralism is a belief that moral goodness, or at least moral relativism, i.e. ‘I’m better than other sinners,’ is the basis of God’s choice in salvation.  It is not.

This is why parents and churches should make the gospel clearly distinct from the call we make to moral integrity.  We need to view our children as sinners in need of a Savior and not as little saved people by virtue of their connection to our church family.

The ‘Sinner’s Prayer’ can be a good thing that can keep people out of heaven.  “Wow,” you say, “how can prayer ever keep someone from knowing God?”  Easy!  When we equate “praying a prayer” with salvation, we run the danger of deceiving people that they have come to know God and have been forgiven by Him, when in reality they have not.  Jesus never said, “Pray this prayer to be saved.”  Instead the Bible says, “Believe on the Lord Jesus and you shall be saved!”  Or it puts it this way, “But as many as received the Lord Jesus, to them God gave the right to become the children of God.”  Salvation is not a gift that comes by praying a prayer but by faith in the Lord Jesus.  So is it wrong to pray and ask Jesus to save us?  Of course not.  Prayer can be a great way to express faith but if we put too much emphasis on the prayer itself, we can make it a stumbling block to some folks.  I’ve heard people say, “Of course they are saved—they prayed the sinner’s prayer!”  I appreciate the sentiment but salvation is evidenced in faith that leads to a transformed life, not in a prayer someone once prayed.   Here’s how the apostle John put it;  “But if we claim to know him and don’t obey him, we are lying and the truth isn’t in our hearts. …if we say we are his, we must follow the example of Christ.” (1 John 2:4,6)  We should encourage people with assurance that comes, not from praying a prayer, but from faith in Jesus that leads us to love like Jesus, believe like Jesus and walk our lives as Jesus walked.

Baptism can be a good thing that can keep people out of heaven.  Baptism is an important act that Jesus commanded us to observe as a way of testifying to our faith.  It’s a great illustration of Christ’s work on the cross for us as we are united with Him in His death, burial and resurrection through faith.  But baptism often becomes a performance that people believe transfers salvation.  Many religious people call it a sacrament and actually, without qualm, believe it conveys salvation.  But even among those who find themselves in evangelical churches, too often their hope is in this religious performance.

One of the best ways to insure that baptism doesn’t become a stumbling block to heaven is to make sure that people clearly understand God’s gospel.  If people truly grasp the good news, they will never rely upon their baptism, or any other religious performance, to make themselves right with God.

So if relying upon church, a sinner's prayer or baptism can keep us out of heaven, what will open the door to heaven?  In a nutshell, only Jesus can.  In fact, in the Bible Jesus says that He and He alone is the actual door to heaven.   If you haven't found that door, check out the claims of Christ and just as importantly, check out the evidence for that which He asserts.

Don’t let a good thing keep you from the most important thing.  Nothing is more important that knowing God and being ready for heaven.

Can I tell you who to vote for?

Who are you voting for President on November 8th, 2016?  I can’t ever remember an election with so many candidates.  At one point the Republicans had sixteen contestants and the Democrats five, with yet another one in the wings quite possibly choosing to run.  So many choices so who should I support?

First, let me urge you to vote.  I’ve spoken with many folks over the years who are disillusioned with politics and so today they are disconnected from the political process.   I believe what too often what led them to that place was unrealistic expectations.  They believed that politics, and maybe more specifically a specific politician, was the answer to all that ails our country.  "If only we could get so-and-so elected," but then when we do he isn't able to accomplish much or worse, he disappoints us terribly.   When it comes to the political process what we need is balance.  On the one hand we need to realize that public policy and government is not the ultimate director for the trajectory of our country.  Don’t put your ultimate hope in any political leader or party.  On the other hand, we need to acknowledge that public policy and governmental leadership do make a difference.   Because of his policies and appointments, there is little argument that President Obama has affected the moral revolution in our land in substantive ways.  So, don’t put your ultimate hope in any leader but also, don’t throw up your hands in a ‘who cares’ attitude.  One of the great hallmarks of our country is that we are a government chosen by the people.  Let’s all be that ‘people’ and a simple way to do so is to vote.  

Ok, so who should you vote for?

Vote for someone who shares your same worldview.  Your worldview is that lens through which you see and judge everything that’s happening around you; it is the framework from which one views reality and make sense of life and the world.  If you see the world from a naturalistic and secular perspective, then vote for someone who will govern from an irreligious, materialistic point of view.  On the other hand, if you hold to a Biblical worldview, and believe that God not only exist but has actively revealed His will for the flourishing of humanity, make sure you vote for someone who sees through that same lens.  A person’s worldview will affect their decision-making in every area of life, from moral and social decisions to governmental structures and budgetary choices.  Obviously no two people will agree on everything but vote for someone who is at least looking at the world through the same lens as you.

Vote for someone who lives your same morality.  I’ll confess that our morality really flows from our worldview so in all honesty this is a nuance of my first point.   I’m mentioning it only because I’ve noticed that even when people claim to have a certain worldview, they operate with a morality inconsistent with that worldview.  I know that we all tend to prioritize moral judgments.  I continually hear that evangelicals, for example, elevate the defense of life, and particularly the unborn, to the exclusion of all other moral issues.  I accept the axiom that it is incumbent upon us to look at a great assortment of moral choices but I also know that we can’t get around evaluating and prioritizing the evil nature of those same choices.  For instance the Bible says that lying is morally wrong and so is murder but most all of us would say that murder is a graver moral evil than lying.  So vote for a candidate who sees moral issues most similarly to you and who has a track record of doing so.

One parenthesis here, if I may.  Though we rank moral evil, and at least at some level so does God in the outworkings of our world, the Biblical worldview says that one sin, any sin, all sin has the same devastating effect-- it separates us from a holy, sinless God.  So we may rank and prioritize sin but even the least of sins puts us in need of a savior and this is why Jesus came.  Jesus most assuredly came to reveal God to us but more specifically He came to offer His morally perfect life as a substitute for all of our moral failures.  The Bible says all of us have sinned.  All of us are liars, and cheats, and thieves and when we stand before God who is perfect and sinless, we will all be judged and condemned.  Jesus is the one who offered himself a Savior for us all.

Vote for someone who offers solutions with confidence and grace.  We live in a country with different worldviews and that division is great.  Vote for a leader who demonstrates wisdom in the solutions he offers and grace in the way he presents himself.  So many people tell me that a humble man cannot be president but honestly, in my Biblical worldview I believe that God gives grace to the humble leader.  Don’t confuse humility with weakness.  Moses was called a humble man yet he led the Israelites for decades.  Jesus, the Son of God, humbled himself.   These men and others have been powerful leaders but their lives and demeanor were peppered with grace and humility.  Listen to the candidates and vote for the one who you believe has wise solutions to many of the problems that weigh on us as a nation.

I know you thought I was going to name a name, but I’ll refrain.  Instead I challenge you to vote intentionally as I delineated above.  Vote wisely.  Vote with forethought and long-range vision. 

"Christians are such hypocrites!"

"Christians are such hypocrites!"  "The church is full of hypocrites!"  As a pastor I've heard those two statements quite a bit over the years.  Maybe you've said them or at least thought them.  I confess I've always wondered why people have said that when Christians have never claimed to be anything but flawed, failed and fallen people.  Our platform of belief begins with a foundational stone of our own sinfulness and wickedness.  However, the other day I had an 'a-ha' moment and I now think I understand why so many think of us as hypocrites.

As followers of Jesus we teach that we should submit to God's will.  We believe that God reveals His nature, character and will in the Bible so we seek to surrender ourselves to what God desires of us.  In other words, when Jesus called us to follow Him we believe He meant for us to live like Him, and more specifically, we believe it meant for us to follow the morality that God has delineated in the Scriptures.  We truly want to live the morality the Bible lays out for us.

But what I just said is really the second half of our message-- the outflow of the first and primary piece.  The central message of a Christian's faith is that he or she is selfish and thus a sinful person.   We are all morally flawed and thus rightly and consequently under the judgment of a righteous God.  You may manage to be more moral than me, but you still fall short of moral perfection-- especially morality as God delineates in His Bible.  Moral failure includes selfishness as lived out in lying, stealing, bitterness, lust and murder.  We tend to compare ourselves and say, "As long as I'm better than most, God will accept me, forgive me, because he obviously grades on a curve."  Unfortunately He doesn't grade on a curve; just one sin is enough to condemn us before this perfect, righteous, loving God.

So the Christian good news begins by understanding the bad-- I need help.  I can't earn God's forgiveness by being better than others.  You may have heard the old joke of the two friends who come upon a grizzly bear and one starts to put on his tennis shoes.  "You can't outrun that bear!" says one friend.  "I don't have to", replies the other.  "All I have to do is outrun you!"  That's not how God's justice works.  The 'grizzly bear' of God's justice will run us all down-- we need a Savior.

The good news the Christian puts his hope in is that God so loved him (and all of us) that He sent a Savior-- Himself.  Jesus as God came and lived a morally perfect life and then gave up that morally perfect life in exchange for my morally sinful and flawed life.  In dying for me, both physically and spiritually, Jesus became my Savior!  Because of Jesus all my sin is forgiven.  Not by my merit.  Not because now I'm perfect but because I trust in Him to be my substitute.  By faith I rely upon His love and His work for me.

Why would anyone believe that?  Really for one reason only.  Because the testimony of many a man and woman is that Jesus proved it by rising from the dead.  They killed him by hanging him on a cross and they buried Him and thought that was that, but history says it wasn't.  On Friday afternoon He dies and on Sunday morning He walks out of the grave.  The resurrection of Jesus, that truth and that reality, changed history without coercion and force.  That truth is still changing men and women's lives today.

We're back full circle to where I started from.  Because Jesus is now my Savior, I want to follow Him.  I want to live as God desires me to live.  I still fall woefully short.  I'm still capable, and even struggle with, wanting to be just as selfish as I ever was.  But nonetheless, God has given me a new heart and His Spirit to help me-- there will be a change.  Not a perfect change, but a change.  I will be more like Jesus.


But here's where I had the 'a-ha' moment-- people outside the church hear us talking about this change and our desire to follow Jesus and be Biblically moral men and women, and without understanding the primary piece, they think that being a Christian simply means seeking to live as moral people.  That conception is reinforced in their minds as they see Christians fight vociferously and politically for Biblical morality.  And then-- then they see us fail.  They watch us fail morally in about every way a person can fail.  They even see those Christians who have been most vocal about God's declared morality fail, or maybe I should say they especially see those who are most vocal fail.  And because they believe the Christian life is merely about living morally-- they see us as hypocrites.  Think about it for a minute; if you thought Christianity was simply about following a moral code, and you saw people who preach and promote that code fail often and openly, wouldn't you think we are all hypocrites too?

So I conclude this note with two challenges.  To the Christ follower I want to urge you to do your best to help people understand the heart of our Christian faith.  It's not about being moral.  We can't be moral so as to earn God's forgiveness or eternal life.  Jesus died to give us what we need-- He rose from the dead to prove He had succeeded.  Be careful not to confuse the message.

Finally, to the one who might be reading this and thinks all Christians are hypocrites, I want you to know that we all agree with you.  We live hypocritically of the morality that we believe God desires of us.  Even now as we follow Jesus we still fail.  We all too often lie, cheat, steal, lust and live selfishly even as we know that is not what God desires of us.  But please understand that is not our central message.  The primal truth we cling to is that in our moral sinfulness, Jesus died for our sins that He might give us freely, by grace through faith, the forgiveness we need.  It's not earned by living to some degree of moral perfection-- its simply received with a grateful heart.  If you've not understood the bedrock truth of the Christian faith, dig in until you do.  You may still reject it, but don't confuse it with mere moralism.

What I enjoyed about our UAS reunion

This past weekend I saw some friends from my teen years that I hadn’t seen in almost forty years—thirty-eight to be exact.  Growing up in Uruguay, I graduated with ten other students but was a part of a high school body of around fifty.  We were from all over the world including Israel, Korea, Brazil and the United States.   Every few years now students from the late 70’s and early 80’s get together for a reunion.  This was my first one so I wanted to share with you three things I truly enjoyed from our time together.

I really enjoyed hearing the life stories and what had happened to people over the last few decades.  My best friend in high school was a man named David and we got to spend a few hours Saturday afternoon catching up thirty-eight years.  Two hours later, after meeting his wife and hearing about his two sons and one grandson born that very day, I had a better picture of what happened after we left Uruguay.  What I still can’t figure out is why we let our friendship slip away all those years ago.

I heard some joy-filled stories of life blessings.  Children who had done well, careers that had flourished.  But I heard some sad ones as well-- one of my friends had lost their spouse in death, early and unexpectedly.  Another had lost a job she had held for thirty years.  So it was a lot to take in, and obviously it was a bit superficial, but what I learned seemed to shrink the years between then and now.

I really enjoyed reminiscing about the past.  It’s hard to believe all the memories that are jarred loose by seeing friends from one’s early years.  Friday night Lauri spent some time reading to us from the UAS high school newspapers.  She even had a sign-up sheet from the school prom and there was my name scribbled in my poor penmanship-- I know that list was every bit of forty years old.

I was reminded of how seniors Geoff, Jay, Tony and Casey would whoop up on us freshmen in basketball.  Geoff seemed to have memories of me being good, which I was glad to hear, but he’s older than me and I think on that one his memory is a bit off.  I tried hard but that’s really different than being good!

We remembered teachers who poured into us, taught us and encouraged us.  Mary, Rosario, Juanita, Joe and Don just to name of few.  “Do you remember…” was a common phrase I heard throughout the evening.

There was one more thing I really enjoyed.  It’s hard to put into words but I truly appreciated the bond I shared with these friends because of the years we spent together in our adopted country.   As an American growing up in a different land, we experienced and received so much.  We’re bilingual and bicultural.  We fit in here and we fit in there.   That experience of life in Latin America bonded our hearts together in a way I don’t know how to explain unless you’ve experienced it.  The truth is we are all so different.  We have different jobs, live in different states, and have different worldviews but there is a bond we share that will never go away and in some way knits our hearts together.   From the moment I first saw Randy on Friday evening until I said good night to everyone on Saturday, I relished in that bond we share.

Thank you Lauri for putting this together and for inviting me.  Maybe in a few years we can do it again.

"I HATE OBAMA," said the Christian!

I am one who considers himself a follower of Jesus.  Many would call me an evangelical because I believe the Bible to be true and what it shares really good news.  But that’s not the point of this article—just the perspective from which I write.

I’m writing about something I see often in the circles I find myself—I’m calling it, “Obama hatred.”   Since I’m talking about Christian circles, you’d think that hatred would not be known among us but I hear it too often in simple comments about our President and I see it in contorted countenances as people describe their vehement hostility toward the man.   It’s not uncommon to hear and read disparaging remarks about his character, motives and intentions from professing Christians.

So I’m writing this primarily for people who claim to follow Jesus.  Let me tell you three things I know about President Obama; three things that I believe he’d absolutely agree with and we need to be reminded of.

President Obama has a different worldview than we Bible-believing Christians.  That’s important to understand.  We believe that truth and perspective come from God’s revelation; I would imagine that he sees truth coming from human reason and societal consensus, but definitely not from the Bible.

What our President has done he’s done because he believes his worldview is right and the best.  In other words, his motives aren’t to destroy America but to make her better from his perspective.  Obviously that doesn’t make him right and that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to stop the moral and cultural shift that’s happening in our land, but we need to recognize that he’s merely leading from the standpoint of his worldview.

President Obama does not stand by himself in his worldview as twice now the America people have voted him into office.  This is important.  He’s our President and he’s our leader, but he’s just one man.  The hatred I’ve seen from some comes because they blame him for the shift that’s happened in our country but he’s merely the leader of a worldview that many Americans now share.

So if you are a follower of Christ, and you find yourself hating President Obama, I want to challenge that hatred and encourage you to change your heart.  Let me give you three reasons why.

The heart of Jesus

Did you know that Jesus loves our President?  He died for him.  God includes him in the  “whosever will may come" words of John chapter three.   Not only does Jesus not hate President Obama, His great love for him led Jesus to die for him—even as Jesus also died for you and me.

The example of Jesus

You’ll look long and hard for an example of Jesus hating Caesar or even the High Priest for that matter.  If our Savior wouldn’t hate the political leaders of His day, what makes us think He wants us to hate our political leaders?  Not to mention that on the very day those political leaders were killing him, he was praying “Father forgive them.”

The words of Jesus

It was to a big crowd that Jesus spoke these words: “You’ve heard it said, ‘Hate your enemies’ but I say to you, love your enemies and do good to those who despise you.”  Wow--love your enemies.  Jesus was clear, so why do we think we have a right to hate our president, even if his worldview and leadership are so different than ours?

Ok, “I see it,” you say.  “Hating our President is not an option for the one who follows Jesus.”  But what should I do?  Do I have to stand idly by and do nothing as I watch our President lead us into a cultural change that I believe is very wrong for America?”   Of course not!  As an American you have every right to participate in the political process and you should.  When God calls us to submit to our government, as part of a democratic republic I have an obligation, even a duty, to participate.  I should speak the truth in love.  I should hold up a better alternative then the one provided by a secular worldview.

But as a Christ follower my greatest allegiance is to Jesus, and He says I should respect those in authority.  More specifically, the Bible tells us to pray for them  (1 Tim. 2).  Instead of hating President Obama and denigrating him with our words, we should uphold him in prayers.  We should pray for his leadership.  Pray for his wife and girls.  Pray and ask God to work through him and in him.  Jesus told us to do good to our enemies, so find ways to bless the President rather than destroy him with your words.  In your heart separate President Obama, the man whom God loves, from the ideology and worldview that guides his leadership.   Labor against his philosophy and policies but ask God to give you an extraordinary love for the man himself.  

Baptism: What are you waiting for?

When I first became a pastor I remember many of the young people who spoke to me about being baptized did so at their parent’s instigation.  I’d be excited until I’d find out that mom or dad told them to “join the church.”   When I’d talk to them they had no clear understanding of what it meant to trust in Christ and even less about the meaning and purpose of baptism.

But today I’ve noticed a different trend; more and more believers, true Christians, are looking at baptism with a “take it or leave it attitude.”  Maybe that’s you.  You’ve understood the gospel; you’ve trusted in Christ and in most areas of your life you seek to follow Jesus but you really don’t understand why baptism is so important.

Let me give you four reasons you should submit to Biblical baptism.

You should be baptized because it’s a picture of the grace that God has given you in Jesus.  

I can’t prove this but I think Paul wrote Romans 6:3-4 after watching a water baptism.  “Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?  We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.”  As he watched a person being baptized in the river it pictured for him the believer dying with Christ, being buried with Christ and rising with Christ.  You should be baptized so as to picture for others what God’s love and grace has done for you.

You should be baptized because it’s speaks to your love and commitment to Jesus.

My wedding band doesn’t make me married but it testifies to the reality that I am.  It speaks to a loving and committed relationship with my wife.   It doesn’t make me married but it is a witness to that marriage.   In the same way baptism doesn’t bring you into a relationship with Jesus but it’s a testimony to others that we have one.  You need to witness to your relationship.

You should be baptized because Jesus modeled it.  

Why did Jesus get baptized?  He didn’t need to as a symbol of repentance or cleansing from sin—He was sinless and perfect.  John the Baptist didn’t even want to baptize Jesus.  “You should baptize me!”, he argued with Jesus.  So why; why did Jesus submit to baptism?  It must be that He wanted to model for us the importance of this outward symbol.   If Jesus would see baptism as this important, so should we.   We follow Him. 

Jesus commanded us to.

I hated to pull this card on you, but this really is the only reason we need to submit to baptism—Jesus told us to.  “Go and make disciples of all the ethnic groups, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit,” Jesus said.  Did you catch that?  Baptize them.   And why this command to be baptized?  It was probably because of the previous three reasons we just mentioned.

So have you trusted Jesus for the forgiveness of your sins?  Are you a follower of Christ?  The I ask you, have you been baptized?  Why not?  It’s time.

Parenting Adult Children

Last week Anne and I had a really sad day.  On Monday we both left for work and came home to an empty house.  Not that we didn’t come home to an empty home many days but this was different.  The last of our six children had packed her car and left for college.  What was amazing was she left us some notes expressing love and appreciation that made us cry.  I read them first so I knew what was coming for Anne when she got home.  Then on Wednesday we drove to Liberty University and helped her move into her dorm.  There was definitely a solemnity on the drive home.  Things have changed—it's already different.

I had the privilege of raising six children.  I remember vividly towing six little ones behind us everywhere we went, including all the needed childhood paraphernalia like strollers and portacribs, and longing for the day they were older.  But nothing prepared me for the difficulty of the years to come.  I no longer had to carry them in my arms but the emotional burden I took on for each of them was enormously harder.

It’s been a decade since I began to parent adults and now they are all in that category.  I’m far from being an expert but I have learned a few things as my parenting has shifted in this new stage of life.  Maybe they will encourage you.

You can’t!  The first and maybe most important thing I learned was that I couldn’t parent adults.  There comes a time in the lives of our kids when they come from under our control and leadership and they spread their own wings.  If I continue to try to parent them from the position of authority and power that I’ve used until then, I will only drive them away and damage our relationship. 

I didn’t get it at the time, but when I went off to college my own father wrote me a note telling me just that.  He told me I was now my own man and I had to make my own decisions.  He’d be there, offer counsel and help me in any way he could, but I was now a man.  Many of us will never say that to our kids but it’s going to happen regardless.  They will become their own person and emancipate themselves from our parentage, whether we want them to or not.  It will help if I will accept that I am no longer ultimately responsible for them—they are now responsible for themselves before God.

You trust!  When you come to the place of surrendering your right to parent your adult kids, you must also, at the same time, trust God to lead them and help them.  I don’t care what the context, it’s always scary to trust God—to surrender control.  I don’t know about you but I made plenty of mistakes as a young man—still do—and consequently I want to spare my kids those same mistakes.  Let’s be honest, we too often want to make decisions for them.  But don’t you realize that God has used every one of your failures to make you who you are?  I don’t mean that we should want our kids to fail or make mistakes, but I am saying we have to trust God that He will work through it for their good—as He did with us.

And here’s what that means specifically: you and I must let them shoulder the responsibility for the decisions they make.  I’m not saying we never rescue our adult children, sometimes we should, but far too often we don’t allow them to experience the consequences of their choices and thereby stymie their growth.  Too many moms and dads are too often bailing their adult children out instead of trusting God.  I remember Anne once heard the Lord tell her that she was getting in the way of what He was trying to do in our kids lives.  It takes a tough love to let our kids grow through pain, but we must learn to trust God.

You pray!  Along with trusting God, we commit ourselves to remember them to God through prayer.  The Bible book of James says prayer can greatly change things.  As God is sovereignly superintending our world, He can rescue or direct our kids in response to our petitions.  If anything we need to prioritize prayer for our adult kids, but it’s equally true that our supplications do as much or more for us in the area of trusting God.  In other words, the more I pray for my kids the easier it is to trust God’s work in their lives.

You counsel!  This may sound contradictory to what I’ve already said, and I confess it takes some balance, but we never give up the role of counselor to our kids.   We must relinquish the desire to control them, to tell them what to do, but never the responsibility to speak into their lives.  The Bible actually calls us to speak into each others lives as brothers and sisters in Christ; how much more should we do that as parents to our grown children?  The difference is we speak, not from a position of power or parental authority, but rather from a loving, equal relationship.  Jackie, a friend of ours and a mother of three adult children in their late 30’s---early 40’s, says she always tells her kids what she thinks but what they do with it is up to them.

You love!  There is nothing more needed by our adult kids than for us to love them.  But what does that mean?  Loving them means you pour into them what they greatly need from you.  They need you to respect them, to believe in them, and to affirm them.  When they don’t call as much as you like, you call them.  When you wish they’d initiate more, you still take the lead without pouting or getting your feelings hurt.   You love them.  You tell them often and you show them continually.

Parenting toddlers had its challenges, but so does parenting grown-ups.  However there is also great reward in this new parental relationship and I’m looking forward to what lies ahead as I walk with my adult children.