Can a person change? Can I change?

Do you ever wonder if people can really change?  Do you ever wonder if you can change?  In the Bible God sarcastically asks some consistently sinful people, "Can the Ethiopian change his skin color?  Can the leopard change his spots?  Then you can also change and do good, you who are accustomed to doing evil"(Jeremiah 13:23).  Let's be honest, change is really hard.  It took Ebenezer Scrooge three ghosts and the fear of judgment and death to help him change.  We've probably all known someone who needed to change but no amount of confrontation and no amount of help has ever managed to bring about transformation.  What’s more, probably many of us, if not all of us, have struggled with wanting to change something in us or about us but have never really been successful in doing so. 

But as hard as change might be, I believe with all my heart that you and I can change--that people can change.  I’ve seen it.  I’ve seen people make radical transformations in their lives in many different areas.  Angry people have become gentle.  Selfish people have begun to live for others.  Immoral people have become moral.  Now I don’t mean to imply that people can become perfect.  Only God is perfect but we are continually challenged to be changed into His image—to be like Him—and I’ve seen many people make dramatic adjustments toward His likeness.

I really don’t want you to worry about changing anyone else—you can’t.  The only person--and I mean the only person--you can change is yourself.  That won’t be easy, but it is possible.  Here are three things that are absolutely necessary for you to change.

First, you have to see your need to change.  No one will change if they don’t see any reason why they should.  Please don’t minimize this first point.  We are masters at self-deception and being able to see something in our lives that is wrong, bad, or even hurtful, is not all that easy.  I tend to compare myself to others and say, “I’m not as bad as them so I don’t need to change.”  The reasons we might not see our need to act or behave differently are so many that I think it would be pointless to make a list.  If you want to see your needy areas, give someone freedom to speak into your life and help you see where your attitudes, your actions, or maybe your reactions need to be altered. 

But there is a step deeper you must take if you are going to change—you have to want to change!  It’s not enough to just see where you need to be different; you have to have this gut level want to change.  I’m not sure exactly where the inner motivation comes from that leads to change, but in some ways, it begins with a decision.  Let’s be honest--all change begins with a choice I make to take a step forward and do things differently.

Each of us was made in the image of God, and though men argue over what that means in its entirety, almost all of us agree that it means we were made moral creatures with intellect, emotions and will.  My will is damaged by my sinful nature, it is affected by my emotions, and often misled by my imperfect reasoning; but as flawed as it might be, if I am to change I must be willing.

And that brings me to the third thing I need if I am to change.  I need help; I can’t change on my own.  Let me state clearly what is true for all of us.  Some things that need to change in my life, when I see them, I immediately want to change them and the pull against that change is very light.  It’s like me moving a light magnet with only a five-pound pull--it's easy and effortless.  But there are other things in my life that I see need to change, and I want them to be different, but the pull against that change is like a magnet with a 100 pound pull. I cannot move that magnet without the help of someone else and I cannot make that change in my life without assistance.


The Bible is pretty clear that my will is damaged by my sinfulness and if I'm going to make changes in those areas where the pull is 100 pounds, I need God's help.  I can't do it on my own.  I make no apology in telling you that apart from God's grace in setting us free, we'll not change.  Paul, one of the greatest followers of Jesus, spoke of his absolute inability to overcome sin and change on his own.  He stated, "For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate...For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want" (Romans 7:15, 20).  So if you want to change, you are going to need to ask God to help you.




But you are also going to need the help of a friend, someone to stand with you, to speak into your life.  I know the context is slightly different, but in Ecclesiastes 4:11-12 it says, "Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart."  The author's point is that there is strength in someone fighting with us and for us.  James, the brother of Jesus, told us to confess our sins to one another that we might be healed.  I need to own up to my places of failure--the places I need to change--and I need to specifically and transparently let others in so they can help me change.


So let me ask you, do you know areas where you need to change?  I'll bet you do.  Are you truly willing to change?  The answer to that might not be as clear. Are you willing to admit that you need help?  If you are then seek Jesus' help and bring a friend in to walk with you.   You can change what needs to be changed--so can I.